Have you ever found yourself in a situation in your life that you felt like you were walking backwards, or had to start all over again? Maybe you made progress in a job and got a demotion, or you had a huge savings account built to have to use it all, or maybe you lost your spouse through divorce or death. When one or more of these situations happen in your life you sometimes have to start all over.
I have found myself in a Reset Button kind of situation, actually situations.
In electronics and technology, a reset button is a button that can reset a device. On video game consoles, the reset button restarts the game, losing the player’s unsaved progress. On personal computers, the reset button clears the memory and reboots the machine forcibly.
In 2010 I was living in Sapulpa OK in government housing and working two full time jobs to even pay for it. I was wore out, discouraged, felt like a failure as a mom. I had just started my ministry Mending Fences N Hearts and it was going strong, when I felt so overwhelmed and made a huge decision to move. January 1st 2011 I moved to Purcell to stay with some friends and help on their ranch, work a job and try to pull my life together. During this time my son was already living with his father, and had been since he was 9. The kids dad and I had joint custody at this point in life, so my daughter decided at this point to move in with her dad as well. My daughter felt she should finish her last two years of school with her brother. So here is where life began to seem to move backwards, and sometimes spin in circles.
From 2011 to 2016 I lived with other people. I was very blessed to stay in loving homes that were there for me and I could be there for them. I helped on a horse ranch, stayed with a friend and drank coffee and laughed a lot, lived in a home where I learned to stretch myself and help with the ministry. I then moved to another state all together. I moved to Texas, on another ranch. I helped with a ministry and was living the dream in Texas. I was traveling in ministry and meeting people, making connections and life long friends. However I was an entire state and half away from my kids. My kids lived in the NE corner of Oklahoma and I lived almost in the middle of Texas. I did a lot of traveling back and forth from Texas to see the kids and tried to make it every other weekend.
I had a great job while I was in Texas. I had gotten myself out of debt and was doing great. Then bam, first a wreck then shoulder surgery. Well those bills begin to build and build. I found another job, made a step to get my own place. I upgraded even more from a little travel trailer to an apartment. Oh and I also met myself a singing Cowboy for Jesus! So during this time I was moving forward, new job, new home, money for bills, new man in my life and the ministry was going strong.
Well….first thing I lost my job, then my apartment, then a break up with my singing Cowboy. As you can imagine I had one of those reset button moments. At first I took up residency in a upper room in a church that was offered by some caring Pastors. I spent a lot of time praying, crying and reading the word. My temporary housing was running out and it was time for some decisions. First thing was my singing Cowboy and I we got back together and was going strong. Then I had to pray about what next! I moved back to the ranch with Mommajo and started my cleaning business back. Now that was a for sure Reset button, because I had not cleaned full time for myself since 2008.
So time was moving forward and things were going great. I had ventured out into new levels of ministry and the singing Cowboy and I were closer than ever. I had a place to call home and a business to build. In January of 2015 my singing Cowboy asked me to be his wife. Of course I said YES!! Actually I said ummm yeah through tears lol. So new journeys began. We married in April of 2015. We began to move around with jobs and continued on with ministry.
So lets fast forward through some details that are too much glory to the devil to share. My work was not really able to stay steady and my bills were paid monthly because my singing Cowboy’s job was able to pay for us. However it was very stressful with all our combined debt. There were circumstances in ministry that caused an added stress to our “dream marriage”, the normal part of getting to know each other, traveling with work and missing my children more and more. Oh and added to all the above stress was watching my child grieve over the loss of two babies through miscarriage.
So I am fast forwarding through more details because all the junk is not important! It is the way out of the junk that is most important! So August 26th on a Sunday morning, I found myself in a very intimate place with God in worship. I stood before him 5 months separated from my singing Cowboy, in financial ruins as far as credit goes, weight gained back that I had worked hard to lose and feeling like wow how did I get myself back in this mess. Now in all this junk, God has been taking well care of me! My business took off like wild fire here in Oklahoma. Oh I forgot to mention that part. I am now living in Oklahoma where my kids and family are. I have a house that is filled with amazing things people have blessed me with. I have family and friends that support me and love me and a granbaby on his way here in 3 months!!!
Okay back to my moment with God and my discussion with Jesus. I have had to use some man made laws and tools to take care of the financial situation of debt from medical bills, and credit cards I lived on after my surgery. I had to start over due to not working things out with our marriage at this point. So when I said Jesus I am sorry that I got myself back into this mess and all that is happening. These are the words I heard loud and clear ‘Your just hitting the reset button baby girl”! Wow!!! Talk about powerful, grace, love and compassion filled words from a loving God!
So here is where I stand today with the reset button! My singing Cowboy and I have a date scheduled this weekend, I have an amazing home, a successful business, a ministry that is kicking back off strong for this fall, a strong wonderful family surrounding me, son and son in love who joined the Army National Guard to protect our country, a precious grandson on the way, and restoration in my mind and heart from years of wounds! See God brought me back to my hometown in Welch OK. I never thought I would ever be back here, and sure didn’t think I would love it and be loved by so many here. Its silly that we think a place is the source of our pain and bitterness. That place is actually in our minds…
Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Eph 4:23
So how do we reset the button!! Do what you have to do and be spirit led when doing it. Renew your minds in the word. Worship the one who does the resetting!!!
Dream Catcher 3:20