I have always been one of those people that needed someone around. At times in my life I was very codependent. Sacrificing who I was in order to fit in with others.
I married at 19. I was married for almost 10 years. Of those 10 years the best part of those years of my unhappy was the joys of my two babies. I married for all the wrong reasons. When those 10 years came to an end I found myself longing for a fix. Needing someone, anyone to be there to fill this NEED! I developed codependent friendships. I began to drink and felt I “needed” the alcohol to function.
I went searching for a replacement husband and father figure to my kids. I met a man and spent four long torturous years in and out of this relationship. Only to keep going back to this hell I had created with this NEED! When I finally broke away from this toxic relationship, well I was on to filling that need with dating and friends.
I woke up one day and said who in the world am I? What do I like and don’t like? What happen to my dreams and my style? What happen to my smile?
I have had many life experiences and hurts. It has taken me many years to figure out who I am and who He called me to be. It’s really easy to get my self caught up in thinking I need things a certain way! I can also let myself thinking that I need my relationships to function. The truth is I want the relationships. I want the people I love in my life. But I NEED GOD!
God is the only ONE I have found that won’t let me down!! God is the only ONE who never leaves me or forsakes me.
I want to pursue my dreams, I want to have my babies close to me, I want to have a special man in my life. I want to have close friends and family around me ALWAYS!! BUT what I am learning through years of having it backwards is I NEED ONLY GOD. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAINTAIN THE WANTS!
He supplies all my needs. Not just financially but emotionally and spiritually. He is a Father, a Husband, a Friend, a comforter, Counselor and My everything!!!
Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
Dream Catcher 3:20