Where did I leave my peace? 

Where did I leave my peace? 

 

I can kick off my NEW year, NEW month, NEW week or NEW day with so much enthusiasm and joy! What happens when your trudging along and all of a sudden you have lost your joy, your enthusiasm and most of all your PEACE? 

 

I started out this week so very excited. I was energized and full of joy. Friday arrived and I was nerve wrecked, irritable, filled with major anxiety and grumpy as all get out. Hmm what the heck happened?

 

As we were closing up our work day, I told my sister I was sorry I was grumpy. She said “Oh that’s nothing new.” I said wait what? Have I been grumpy? “You get like this,” she says and we began to discuss the last time I was this way and it was for the same reason. 

 

Have you ever ignored the voice of God?  Have you ignored His small whispers?  Have you continued to look past Him jumping up and down in front of you, waving His arms and screaming TURN AROUND DON’T DROWN?  

 

See, this girl right here tends to ignore His voice for my very own selfish desires. This is how I have ended up in horrible marriages, friendships, financial situations, and anything else that was less than God.

 

When I trudge on selfishly, I don’t realize that my disobedience not only harms me but those around me. Every time I say “I’ll do that tomorrow, God,” I lose another day of my peace.  When I am no longer walking in peace, I am no longer being a safe and peaceful place for others to find HIS peace.

 

Today it is all about where, when, what, and how. Where did I leave my peace? Where is the last place I felt at peace? Whenwas the last moment I felt at peace?  What have I done and not done that made me step across that line of peace to chaos and confusion?  From joy and enthusiasm to anger and regret? How do I find that peace again?

 

I know right now what the answer is for myself. The thing with this one is it involves another person. I allowed someone to step into my life that is not from God. I needed something that I should have been getting from God. This person was fulfilling a temporary need. I had the small voice at first. It was a check in my heart. It was questions that arose about the situation. Then,as I ignored that and was drawn in by my little ego being stoked with charm and laughter, the devil (peace robber) started sneaking in a little at a time. 

 

This past month God started jumping up and down in front of me, waving His arms and screaming TURN AROUND DON’T DROWN. I was saying “Okay, one more text, one more FaceTime, one more day to not feel alone. I know, I know, God.I see all the warning signs!!!  I will get out of this. Just give me more time. After all God I don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings.” WHAT???? Someone else’s feelings is worth losing my peace?

 

BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES LOL!  I am reading ‘Boundaries’ by Henry Cloud and Townsend. Now to learn to implement them! 

 

Okay so where did I leave my peace?!

 

I can tell you right now. I left my peace the same place I have way too many times. DISOBEDIENCE!  I have made these same mistakes with my finances, jobs, friendships, dating relationships, and even marriage. 

 

My God says His plans are to prosper me!  His plans are not to harm me!  Jeremiah 29:11. All I have to do is ask myself if this situation, this decision I am about to make, this friend I am inviting into my circle, this guy I’m “talking to”is this going to prosper my life?  Is this going to be a good plan?  Or perhaps is THIS going to bring me harm? 

 

If I ask these questions in my life and I don’t hear immediately and clearly then that’s when I pause and do nothing.  It is okay to not make a decision until I hear clearly. This is when I need to slow down, hold off on that purchase, spend time with God to know what a true friend is, let Him be my mate so I know what real LOVE looks like and sounds like.

 

As I write this today, I know exactly what I need to do.  While talking to my sister I remembered when I felt like this last. It was the same exact scenario. See, even though I know I am not ready to date someone, I have tried to step into that scene and it’s been a disaster each time. When I step back and look at this, I am at peace with just me and God. 

 

How did I get myself in this mess? By looking at what others have that I don’t. By thinking I’m missing out on something instead of looking at what I already have. By thinking I need mankind to tell me I am enough. Do you know what this has done to me? It’s made me feel even less than I already did. It has made me lose my peace, my joy, my sanity lol. 

 

Being real and being raw with my readers is not always easy. But it is worth it.  If you are saying you have no peace, ask yourself “Where did I leave my peace? God will show you!  Be still with Him. Think about the last day you felt at peace. Then let Him show you what to do to step right back into His lovingembracing peace!

 

Shalom 

 

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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The Empowering List

When you make a list of what you have done verses what you haven’t done 💥

I SURVIVED!! I set my goals last year on this day for 2018 When I set them I was still walking out a deep time of grief and healing. I look back now and see I really didn’t do most of what was on my list. BUT what did I do.

I survived loss of friends

I survived betrayal

I survived domestic violence

I survived uprooting and relocation

I survived a divorce

I survived broken dreams

I survived a life I had come to know day in and day out haunting to a total end

I spent 2018 doing what I needed to do to make 2019 the best year yet! I DID NOT GIVE UP AND QUIT.

2018 might have been a year of survival but 2018 will be a year of ARRIVAL!

Now 2019 look out! My words for 2019 are Refreshing and Inspiring!

#Aboveandbeyond #newyear #refreshninspire #lookout2019 #mendingfencesnhearts

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@dreamcatcher_320

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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Time is running out LET IT GO

The hour glass is running out as I am at the ending of another year in my life. Instead of hearing tick tock tick tock, I hear the words screaming in my head “LET IT GO”!  I need to let go of all the junk from days, weeks, months and even years of the past behind me. But how?

 

How does a person leave behind past failures, hurts, words and bad memories?  I am learning daily to do this very thing and it is not easy at all. I have found myself feeling irritable and angry for no reason. Hmmm, is that no reason or lots of reasons? I am realizing that I am carrying years of hurt, disappointments and even fear with me into each new day. So the question still remains: how do I change this?  

 

I am creating a safe place in my life to accept all the past hurts as just that…the PAST.  I am allowing myself to acknowledge my failures and those bad things that happened to me and because of me. What’s next?  What did I learn from them? Maybe I learned what my strengths were and my weaknesses. Maybe I learned what others strengths and weaknesses are. I have to look at the situations and the people involved in those past hurts and failures. After I have taken a long in-depth look at the situations and people involved, it’s time to ask myself if I need to take those same people with me into my future. The people we have in our lives may always go with us on some level because they are family or people we can’t avoid. However, are they VIP level or balcony level people?  Do you want them so closely involved in your life that they have access to continue to hurt you or maybe to have the fear they will?  Or do they belong up in the balcony level where they don’t have that direct access? Deeply evaluating these people will categorize them in their appropriate categories.

 

I am finding for myself to forgive those who hurt me I need to move some of them to balcony seats. Usually for me those are the ones who never make a life change to assure they will no longer continue the hurting. This way I assure myself once I’ve moved them to the balcony area I can then heal and forgive. 

 

Forgive!!!  What a word. I find this word sometimes impossible. But God tells me to do it and that ALL things are possible IN HIM!  So I am asking God to help me do the thing He tells me to do. The best way I am finding to do this is to change my thoughts. When something triggers the hurt, I have to think of something positive from that situation or person. I also find that saying out loud I forgive them helps immensely. For out of the mouth is where action starts. I have better things to do with my energy and heart. One very powerful thing I am doing to forgive me or others is pray!  Praying for the person that hurt me or for even myself assures God is for sure right in the middle of this process. 

 

I am going to spend the next few days of 2018 working on LETTING IT GO!  Leaving some hurts, failures, bad memoriesand disappointments in my past. 2019 will be filled with peace, love, joy, new memories and NO MORE FEAR! 

 

Acknowledge. Evaluate. Forgive. Pray.

 

I pray that what I am walking through will inspire you on your walk. 

 

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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One tiny BB creates one gigantic problem

So yesterday we was cleaning a house and sucked up a BB into the vacuum. Somehow that little tiny BB fell out of the hose and down into a space that seems impossible to get it out. Now the hose will not go back into its connector therefor the vacuum can not serve its full purpose!!

Hmm can you already see where I’m going with this tiny little BB story?

This morning as I was already trying to stay out of panic mode when my grandsons birthday cupcakes fell through lol now I have this BB issue. I loaded up my vacuum and headed on a mission to fix the problem no matter the cost. Oh the same on the cupcakes as well lol. My cupcake maker has a sick baby and so best to get some made elsewhere.

I ran by the the vacuum repair shop to find they was not open yet at 9 am! GOOD time to go to the bakery and order my cupcakes. I ordered my cupcakes 🧁 and had one issue solved. Now back to this tiny little pain called a BB. I took the vacuum in and he says there’s no way to get that out unless he takes it all the way apart. He continues to tell me since he is doing that he will clean it inside and out so it will perform better.

You with me yet? Bet you know where I’m heading with this!!!

I am currently sitting in a cafe evaluating why my life isn’t fitting exactly into place. Why I don’t feel I am serving my full purpose and potential! I began to think of this tiny BB causing such major issues. I wonder how many tiny BB’s are stuck in areas of my life that don’t belong? Tiny mindsets, tiny attitudes, tiny little sins that are causing great big issues!!!

Today I am asking God to do a service call on my heart and mind! Clean me inside and out and remove tiny obstacles from my heart and life! You see when a vacuum is serviced it has full potential and power back again! With God I want to walk in His power and purpose in my life.

Well I went there!!! I know y’all some this coming probably before I did lol

It’s amazing what one tiny BB spoke to my heart. $100 later I will have cupcakes and a like new vacuum! It will cost me as well spiritually, mentally and maybe even others areas to clean up my life. Time with God, time to heal, time to learn and time to mature. I just have to be willing to pay the price! After all HE DID! He’s already done the hard part!

Love y’all

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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Time To Jump Into The Deep End!

I am not a good swimmer at all. I can wade out into the deep with a float device but never ever jump into the deep. The deep water totally intimidates me.

I have been thinking about how the float device never lets me down no matter how deep I ease myself into the water. I wonder why I can’t trust that same device to just jump feet first into that same deep water?

There are times in life when God eases us into the deeper things and times when He says JUMP NOW! What if I was on a sinking ship and the captain was yelling jump now and I froze up? So what if God is saying jump now and I’m in a total state of fear and frozen in place. The ship is sinking and Cassie is drowning in her fear!

I have been struggling with my fear and trust lately. I have been grasping for air and acting as if I was drowning while wearing my safety float! God has never let me down! God will never let me drown in the deep!

Last night I woke up thinking about how I want to be so secure in my safety and security in GOD that I’m not moved by my surroundings. I want to eat and mingle with those who most wouldn’t and enjoy the fellowship but not be like them. I want to be out in the world to show them love with out letting the world dominate me. I want to go so deep in God that I can stand out in a crowd that is not like me with out fear of rejection.

Over the last month I have been thinking about the plans God has for me, the dreams I have for bigger things in God, and that He has for me. I have been so afraid of failing at them that I have been frozen in place. I have been so afraid to let go of the old hurts and disappointments because that might leave room for new ones! These are all trust issues! I am ready to JUMP INTO THE DEEP! I am ready to trust the same God who’s been with me from the shallow calm waters to the deep raging waters all of my life!

I love these verses I found last night about how I will be changed and ready for the deep! It’s not by me struggling but by me EMBRACING HIS LOVE! All I need to do is live my ordinary everyday life for HIM!

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Who’s ready for the deep with me?

Love y’all

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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Shewwee

Well I had this blog I was going to write out this morning and I ended up making it as a comment on someone’s post. Their post was exactly about this.

When people are walking through their own pain and messes we can look pretty on outside and spray out crap like a skunk.

I’ve been beating myself up because I keep making bad choices, acting ways I don’t want to act like, always Letting people down and letting myself down. This morning I walked out into a skunk spray. Skunks are so pretty but when they are startled they spray stink everywhere. That’s what I feel I have been doing for years.

Trying to look good to everyone around me but then something happens to set off my defense mechanism and look out :::

Ugly words, ugly actions, ugly thoughts and spraying stink all around me.

I have to let go of all that junk from my past all the way up to today. Junk that keeps me on the defense has to go. That junk that keeps me trying to look so pretty and all together but all the while stinking up my life and those around me.

I am tired of trying to look good while inside I’m filled with this stink that comes out at all the wrong times. It’s time for my stink producer to be clipped! I want to let things go, let people go, let the past go and even the future! I want to Smell like JESUS!

To all of those I have sprayed my stink on or someone else has sprayed theirs on you…

You keep living for God and you. Don’t let us skunks get any of our spray on you.

God is the only one who has it all together.

Love y’all

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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10 Ways To Be True To You

1. Stop breaking promises to yourself

2. Communicate clearly your thoughts, ideas and feelings

3. Your goal is to please God not others

4. Say what you really mean. No more beating around the bush

5. Trust that small still voice. ITS GOD

6. Always speak life about yourself

7. Follow your heart! God lives in it

8. Never hesitate to just say NO THANK YOU

9. Never be afraid to say YES

10. Always be kind to yourself

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

#Aboveandbeyond

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Morning Rawness

Some tell me I shouldn’t care anymore! Some say your better off! Some say I never should have! For those who truly know me, you know how deeply I love, how I go in and give all I can until I lose myself in a person.

They say time heals but I say GOD HEALS. Time only tells how far along in that healing I am.

This is a rough week for me. See I always have hope in me. I always have wild imaginations that the total disaster will turn into a huge walking testimony somehow. AND IT ALWAYS WILL. Just not always the way we think it will.

A word of advice to those helping someone overcome trauma, loss, hurt of any kind. Don’t try dismissing their emotions with cliche comments. People heal in their own time and their own ways. If they don’t feel they can be honest with those around them, they will close off and fake it. That is not healthy in anyway. We may think we are making them feel better when we say our little easily thrown out words BUT we are not. Unfortunately I’ve said all these things to others. I never knew how it made them feel. I did it because their pain made me uncomfortable because I didn’t understand. I am finding it is way easier to say “I don’t have a clue what you must be feeling but I love you and I’m here for you”.

So I’m being honest today with y’all. I’m experiencing a new level of emotions and a new level of healing. I’ve felt angry over the last few days at myself for having any feelings about certain areas at all. But I decided to embrace them so I can finish my healing process.

There are so many people my story will impact so they can heal as well. So onward I go! I won’t fake it till I make it. I will process it and allow God to finish the work HE started.

#mymorningrawness

Cassie Gilman

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Week 4~RUTH

I have always been intrigued with Ruth. Ruth lost her husband, her brother in laws and father in law all at once. I can not imagine the grief she was feeling. In times of grief we naturally turn inward and maybe even somewhat selfish. It’s a survival technique much necessary at times. BUT NOT RUTH!
There came a moment of decision for Ruth; would she return to the familiar or go towards the unknown? Would she press on with the God she had been serving or return to false hope, false idols and emptiness because it was easier?
Ruth’s mother in law Naomi told her and the sister in laws to return back to their land. I find it interesting that the sister in laws said with their mouths, oh no we will stay with you! Hmmm we’re they only giving lip service? It only took two times of Naomi telling them “I have no sons for you to marry” then they were out!!! NOT RUTH!
Ruth oh how strong her faith in God had to be. Ruth told Naomi “I will go where you go”. I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I could have done that. I might have been thinking about the fact she basically said hey you will be single from now on… or the fact I had never been to this foreign place! Ruth knew no one but her mother in law. A mother in law who was bitter over the death of her sons and husband. Oh boy that had to be a depressing trip!!! Naomi even changed her name to mean bitter 😥 I probably would have ran to a more comfortable place. NOT RUTH
Ruth journeyed on and took care of Naomi. Ruth could have changed her name to bitterness, depressed, single for life, poor me… BUT NOT RUTH.
Ruth gets up one morning and says “hey I am going to the fields and hope for favor to clean up what’s left behind” ~Cassie’s paraphrasing lol
She starts picking up what’s left behind. I don’t think her intentions were to fund a husband. I believe her heart was servant hood. I believe she was doing what she knew to do in the natural to provide for her and Naomi. I believe she was picking herself up out of the dark places she was living in to find a reason to hope. She could have taken the easy way out and ran back to familiar!!! BUT NOT RUTH
So guess what happened!! The man who owned the fields was named Boaz and he noticed Ruth! He asked his crew who is this woman? They explained she was Naomi’s daughter in law and a widow. 
Ruth did not approach Boaz…He went to Ruth!
“Boaz went over and said to Ruth, “Listen, my daughter. Stay right here with us when you gather grain; don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.” Ruth fell at his feet and thanked him warmly. “What have I done to deserve such kindness?” she asked. “I am only a foreigner.” “Yes, I know,” Boaz replied. “But I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.””
‭‭Ruth‬ ‭2:8-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬
Ruth could have chased after him and begged him for food. Instead she labored in the fields and believed for favor. That was not overlooked. She could have said hey I am Naomi’s daughter in law, I heard there was a law here that a relative of my husband was suppose to marry me so I can have children and continue the linage. BUT NOT RUTH!
Ruth did the ordinary, everyday task of providing for Naomi and herself and trusted God! Here is what is amazing!
Because Ruth did not turn back to the easy road..
Because Ruth didn’t lay down in her loss
Because Ruth didn’t chase after the final outcome with out doing the daily task first
Because she didn’t try to run ahead of God and force things to happen
God put her exactly where she needed to be at the exact time she needed to be there! Boaz took notice of her! Boaz gave her favor, provision and grace. Boaz made her task become easier and showed her exactly where to work, where to be for food and water!!!

15 When Ruth went back to work again, Boaz ordered his young men, “Let her gather grain right among the sheaves without stopping her. 16 And pull out some heads of barley from the bundles and drop them on purpose for her. Let her pick them up, and don’t give her a hard time!”

17 So Ruth gathered barley there all day, and when she beat out the grain that evening, it filled an entire basket.[a]18 She carried it back into town and showed it to her mother-in-law. Ruth also gave her the roasted grain that was left over from her meal

THEN…..
The time came when Naomi brought up that law about the relative who could marry Ruth! She directed her to clean up, prepare for her BIG DREAM!! Her husband, her provision, her protection and PURPOSE. Ruth had to be scared of rejection. I would have said ummm nope you go ask him for me lol. BUT NOT RUTH!
Ruth did as she was directed. LONG STORY SHORT!!! She married the man of her dreams and fulfilled the call and purpose on her life. RUTH went from a foreigner to being in the direct line of Jesus lineage!! WOW!!!!!!
I would love it if you would read the book of Ruth this week and send me your thoughts on her life ♥️!!!
I’m all pumped up and excited this morning about life and ALL HE HAS FOR ME! Don’t settle for less than your BOAZ in life rather it’s a husband or a Dream! God wants the best for you!
Love you,
Cassie G
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Drop your burdens and RUN to JESUS

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

One day I was so over loaded emotionally and mentally with life. I felt like I was being taken under by a heavy weight around my neck. Like I was carrying luggage filled with rocks and I was going to drown in life.

There was a period in my life where I was living in a situation that was not bringing me peace at all. I was under attack spiritually, mentally and physically. My Mommajo AKA Carol Hogner came for a visit one weekend. I was helping her carry in her luggage and she went to hug me, my hands were too full to just melt into that loving hug. I suddenly realized I was holding onto baggage that was keeping me from being embraced fully by loving parental arms. I dropped all the luggage on the ground and said, okay now I’m ready.

A year went by from this moment that happened in the physical, when God showed me my life in the spiritual. He took me back to that moment in my mind. I realized I was carrying too much baggage with me. It’s not easy to drop baggage 🧳 and walk or run in the other direction. We can start thinking about the value that it has served us to keep it. That very baggage might have provided protection from more rejection, pain, being let down and avoiding walking in an area we are called because of fear. So many reasons it’s hard to drop the burdens or baggage and RUN into HIS ARMS! OH BUT IT IS WELL WORTH IT! See our Father God will never ever LET US GO! He will give us a light load of peace, joy, comfort…

Below is a video with a song sang by Carol Hogner that came out of that baggage moment. Please take a few minutes to check it out.

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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