Monthly Archives: December 2019

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Single Life

Single Life and what it looks like behind closed doors.

Social Media can be deceiving but for me I try to tell it all. There are those who frown on my openness but… IDC lol

I have had multiple marriages for which I struggle with shame over. Or instead of struggle I should say I am daily overcoming shame from. Jesus rescued me from shame and it is up to me to walk in that freedom. Sometimes my friends and family likes to poke fun of what husband was that, or how many times have you been married, blah blah blah….lol. I join in on the making fun of myself to hide the shame and embarrassment that I truly feel. I know they are just teasing, but it truly is a struggle for me.

Five husbands… No not me! Close enough lol but the woman at the well had 5 husbands and the one she was living with was not her husband. Jesus went to that well on purpose with a purpose! He went to let her know He loved her and she was forgiven. So He has the same forgiveness and love for me! He has the same for you as well.

I do a lot of social media posting and I post a lot of what I am doing in my day. I cook out, have fire pits, coffee outside by my outdoor heaters and even do some traveling, solo! I have a lot of fun even if it is by myself. I take myself out to movies and nice places to eat. I have a lot of likes and comments and even those married friends that say they are jealous lol. I spend time with my kids, grandkids and friends. I never have to answer to someone else’s schedule or needs. No one to complain about the sand in their clothes at the beach or the smell of smoke on their clothes. Sounds amazing huh?

Here are the other times I have as well. I sometimes cry because I have no one to tell about my day besides social media. Of course I have God but lets be real and honest… Sometimes a flesh human is really awesome. I have no one to cook my foods for that can enjoy it and tell me it taste yummy. No one to know if I made it home safe from my trips. No one to carry the financial load of the rent and help me with my dreams. So there are moments when those things overwhelm me. They are way less than the other moments, praise God. Even though they happen way less, they hurt so deep that it takes my breath away.

What do I do to overcome these moments? Hmm, well some are good things and some are bad lol. I pray, turn on Jesus jams, talk to a friend, watch a good movie or comedy, go somewhere fun or outdoors. Or… get on a dating site and scan for a cutie and get mad because well, very undesirable men approach me so I delete it. Of course this leaves me feeling worse than I did before lol. Listen to sad music, or cry like I said before.

Why am I telling y’all this information? Because Single Life is well, life. There are your ups and your downs. Christians and non Christians all have the same struggles. Singles and non singles all have things they struggle with. I wanted you to know that the we serve a God who understands our weaknesses. He gives us grace, mercy, forgiveness, strength and anything we might be lacking and need extra of.

I am not perfect but I serve one who is. I love my life but I have my pain and down moments. I always rise back up with Him holding me in His arms.

Do I want to always live the Single Life? No, yes, no, yes lol… It will take someone very special to make it a no! Someone who loves me with a past that they don’t care about. Someone who loves God so much that when I look at him I SEE Jesus. Someone who loves life, loves the things that make me feel alive and me. Someone who loves my family as their own. Someone who never ask me to be less than I am. So right now I described Jesus and that is who I have as a mate. So if He decides to hand my heart over to a man that belongs to Him, well it will be a no. Until that day it is a yes!!!!

I can not wait for all my solo Single Life adventures for 2020!

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Pressing Towards The Goal 2020

It’s that time of year when we are thinking about those New Years goals. Well for the most part my goals are carrying over from 2019. I really did not hit them like I wanted. Life gets so crazy and so easy to lose focus.

I declare today to forget what is behind me and press towards the high prize!!! I will not allow condemnation to set in over failed goals. So today if this resonates with you and your goals falling short, I encourage you to do the same!

2020 GOALS

  • Study His Word more
  • Talk more with God. Not just formal prayer but as my Father, Husband, Counselor, and Friend.
  • Ask Daily for God to search my heart and show me things that need healed and removed from my life.
  • Have 20 speaking/ministry bookings in 2020
  • Keep my family covered in prayer and continued handing them back to God when I want to worry.
  • Start a once a month family dinner with my children and grandchildren
  • Drink more water
  • Work on a physical routine that fits my life.
  • Do not compare my routines to others
  • Eat healthier for me!
  • Go hiking, join a group of safe hikers
  • Go to gun range and shoot for fun and skills
  • Take a martial arts class
  • Go to the beach 3 times
  • Make new friends
  • Focus on my blogging again
  • Start my interviews back up
  • Start my KIJS videos back up
  • Perfect my podcast and syndicate it for radio
  • LAUGH MORE

I would love for you to share a few of your goals with me. I want to encourage you, pray for you and help you anyway I can!

Remember His word says write the vision and make it clear so all who reads it can run with it!

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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2020 Perfected Vision

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In 2013 I started this blog, it has been filled with encouragement, interviews, pain, gain,music, recipes and God thoughts. Over the last couple of years, there has not been as many post. I sort of lost myself in early spring of 2017. If you have followed my blog you know that I walked through a divorce after experiencing domestic violence for a year. I have been healing, restoring and growing over the last almost 3 years. So today I write this blog to share with you that I believe in 2020 all that was lost and became blurry in my life is being perfected and restored.

I opened my cabinet in my bathroom yesterday where I had my 2019 goals typed on a piece of paper. I forgot it was in there, and brought it out to see where I was at with them. I realized I had lost some focus, but I also realized that God was bringing all of those into my vision again. God has been working on me in some areas so that the goals I had written down could become realities. I could have looked at them and felt like a failure, but instead I decided to look at them through God’s eyes which have 2020 vision. God’s eyes see perfection because they SEE Jesus Christ when they SEE us.

When I lost myself and my vision for my life in 2017 I was traveling and doing ministry, blogging, doing podcast, radio and so much. All of those things I just mentioned are part of who I am and what I love. When my heart was broken, those things also seemed to have shattered. I could not figure out how to piece them back together. I could not figure out how I was going to travel and do ministry because you see, I always traveled with someone else. I could not seem to get a groove going for my KIJS show, blogging or podcast. I would see a glimpse of that desire and try to do those things, then I would get distracted with my pain. But God never left me in my pain and the distractions have been healing one by one.

Now that we are ending another year and entering into 2020, I believe God told me that this will be my year of perfection. No not being perfect… I believe He is perfecting those things that concern me. Psalm 138:8! I believe the brokenness that I experienced, that the very last little pieces are being mended and put back into their place and sealed by God’s love. The vision that was given to me in 2010 for ministry, the passion to encourage others to dream through my blogs and interviews in 2013 and even all the childhood dreams, are all coming into perfected 2020 clear vision.

God’s word says He takes all things and turns them around for His good and glory. The mess I lived off and on in my past is now my message of God’s love, healing, restoration, sustaining hand and so on. I have wondered where to start, how to get back to the passions in my heart, God says start now, start today. So my goal is to take one day at a time, one opportunity at a time and walk into 2020 with an overwhelming excitement. Doors of opportunity have already began to open up. Last month I was asked to share a little of my story at a fundraiser. The two minutes I had to share opened a door to many things to come. In early 2020 I will be traveling with our Community Crisis Center and working with churches to bring awareness to domestic violence and make churches a safe place for both victims and hurting people who find themselves hurting others. I also believe that this door that opened will open up more and more doors.

So my advice to you, is no matter what all the years of the past has brought you, that you do not let go of hope, love, peace, healing and your vision and dreams. Let 2020 be your year of perfected vision. Ask Him to perfect all that concerns you!

Dream Catcher 3:20

Cassie Gilman

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Done

I saw this on a friends post this morning.

My entire life, I have held on to people like they were some kind of life line.

I have allowed myself to be consumed with others needs over my own, over my spouses, and over my own children’s needs. I was so codependent. I was always so afraid to be left behind and rejected.

I have allowed toxic people to control my life for way too long. I have allowed their drama and darkness to be my drama and darkness. I created my own world of toxicity and darkness by living for others.

There are just a few days left in 2019, I am leaving this part of my life behind. I have grown so much in this area over the last few years but today I am flat out DONE!

I am done compromising who I am so that I have friends to hang out with. I won’t be less than so I can date someone that’s intimidated by my purpose. I will no longer surround myself with people who drain the life out of me, that create an atmosphere where I weaken my morals, words, actions and love walk.

I am DONE!

His word says He has great plans for me! Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. If it doesn’t line up with that then I AM DONE!

Maybe today it is time for you to take this stand with me.

Lets all go into 2020 ready for the BEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES!

Dreamcatcher320

Cassie Gilman