Gods vision is so different than ours!
Just a few months ago my vision was distorted by big logs stacking up.
In 2015 the Lord brought a man in my life that I talked about, blogged about and was all about non stop. I was so excited that God chose me to be blessed with him.
Over the next couple of years I come to find that life is hard and sometimes if we still have things in our heart not healed from our past it can distort our vision. I began to focus on little silly splinters in his life and others around me and their lives. Log upon logs began to build up. The logs I was seeing was not his or anyone else’s around me but I was so blinded to what God wanted me to SEE I mistakenly took those blinders as others logs and not my own.
Over time I became critical and negative. I stopped celebrating and being excited about what God blessed me with in marriage, ministry and friendships. When we are building up those ugly ol log walls we are shutting God, love, relationships and blessings out and our own misery in!
Hurting people hurt people. I began to be bitter and ugly in my actions and reactions to stress and life. I stopped praying sincere open hearted prayers. I stopped showing and receiving Grace! Everything was everyone else’s fault in my mind. Not acknowledging that I had built these walls around myself.
In side my self pity, envy, and anger I created an atmosphere of non acceptance of others or myself. Making it impossible to SEE the LOVE others had for me or that my GOD provides for me.
A year ago today my walls pushed and pushed me to my limit. They were caving in around me. In a situation where if I had allowed God to dissolve them, I could have loved and received love I nailed that final log down!
Over the following months I have found myself with God chopping up each wall and burning it in His Fire!
When I found myself miles and miles away from the one I once celebrated and the dream I was living, I had to see the huge walls in front of me.
One early morning the Lord woke me up and said get a notepad and a pen! Okay got it now what. He said we are going to build a wall and your going to call it Cassie’s wall of anger. SAY WHAT?
Many years ago I was in Celebrate Recovery and when I was asked by my sponsor what about your anger you haven’t mentioned that in your amends to others. Excuse me but that’s none of your business that’s mine to protect and hide. Oh sweet baby girl your not hiding that lol
So here I am back to this anger! When God told me to start drawing blocks with wrong mindsets that built this wall around me I was like okay easy. I thought it would be 5 blocks. No it was an entire page of blocks.
April of 2017 I sit there looking at this huge wall, I was like oh wow thanks God now what! He said we now are going to deal with each of these blocks(logs) one at a time. We will dissolve them with my Holy Word and Love.
I wished I could say they are all gone but I know God is still working on me daily. Over the months He has helped me burn up so many. I went from blaming others for my situation to realizing Cassie this was all results of your anger and your trust issues with God!
What I want each of you to SEE is the fact that you may wake up and find the very things you dreamed of your entire life will be pushed out of your life because of your very own logs building up to crush you and destroy you. You will find yourself not able to LOVE AND BE LOVED.
We think it’s our place to pick splinters out. NO! It’s our job to let God burn our logs with His Loving Holy Fire to give hope to others to do the same.
Today I’m working on building doors of LOVE that open up to a sanctuary where others feel safe around me spiritually and emotionally. They feel safe to let their splinters be seen because they know I only SEE THEM ALREADY PERFECT IN CHRIST!
I detest the destruction of my marriage and friendships. I detest the hurts I caused my children in my life. I detest sin and want nothing to do with those old ugly logs.
I will do whatever I can to help anyone never get to the point of their walls crushing their lives and dreams.
Study His word! Allow HIM to LOVE YOU RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! Every negative thought you have about your life and yourself God has TRUTH to dissolve those lies!
It’s so liberating to be free from those ugly walls.
I have truly began my journey of restoration and recovery
1. We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18 NIV
2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13 NIV
3. We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1 NIV
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40 NIV
5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16a NIV
6 We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 NIV
7 We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NIV
8 We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31 NIV
9 We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24 NIV
10 We continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 1 Corinthians 10:12
11 We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us, and power to carry that out.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. Colossians 3:16a NIV
12 Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore them gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Galatians 6:1 NIV
If you need the help of a minister, friend, counseling or a Christ Centered program reach out and do what you need to for your log wall destroying journey!
DO NOT WAIT TILL YOU HAVE LOST YOUR WAY, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR DREAMS! God is a RIGHT NOW GOD!
Dream Catcher 3:20